Salamander

Bones and Babies

2007-04-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

Other than starting with the same letter its seems O&G and Orthopaedics have more in common than we realize. Having to share the same OT in Kuching Hospital have often brought this two department head on. For better or worse....
After many frustrating delays for an ortho Op due to the large number of caesers due to fetal distress, an ortho MO is heard to comment that he is about to have an abscess in distress.

Lost in Translation

2007-04-02T06:06:00.000-07:00

Whats this? The very first joke from the houseman years? Who has the honors?
Sit back kids, and enjoy the ride

Place: Orthopaedic ward, Kuching hospital
Incident: Dr Chua is conducting a PR exam
As thought by our illustrious alma mater, Dr Chua is conducting a PR exam on a spine trauma patient. All is going according to plan until he wanted to test for anal tone.while having his finger up where the sun dont shine he request the patient to contract the sphincter by saying "Gengam tangan saya". the patient obediently did so by reaching around and grabbing his hand.
Now thats Ber-khidmat untuk your negara.

Truth is stranger than fiction

2007-03-23T03:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how many tv shows there are about medical life? We were raised on Chicago hope and ER and have since moved on to Grey's anatomy and House. And does art really reflect life or is tv, well, tv?
Take a look at the following and see if any matches your current situation.

1) House- High flying technology, complicated diagnosis and people in lab coats. Not in malaysia. Have to admit this is my favourite show though.

2) Grey's anatomy- Drama and hot doctors pontificating the morality of medicine. If this is your life, i'm in the wrong hospital.

3) Scrubs- Crazy situations, lots of blue outfits and bad hair. The hallucination parts ought to be true for most of us post-call.

4) ER- err... a bit before our time but still entertaining. Lots of blood, screaming and running doctors. A typical sunday night.

Anywhere but here

2007-03-23T03:17:00.000-07:00

Recently i was asked why this blog seemed to have died out. The abysmal lack of Wi-fi have seen to that. Oh the horrors, you say, what kind of backwater dirt town have you relocated to. One withour streamyx, obviously. At any rate i shall still do my upmost to keep this site alive. Looking back there are just too many jokes here to let the salamander die a natural death. We shall not go quietly in to the night, Elvis have not left the building, viva forever and all that shit!
So now my fellow doctors, let us speak of long nights, crazy days and more steamy scenes than Grey's anatomy.
Welcome to the real life of an intern. Cue laugh track

Khidmat untuk Kerajaaan

2007-03-08T23:55:00.000-08:00

Dear Fellow doctors,
Time flies doesn't it? It seems like only yesterday that we were freshies graduating and anxious to start work. Right around now is when most of us have finished our first posting. Looking back to the four months of suffering, what do u remember? I can honestly say i remember nothing. Its like there is black hole where that four months should be. Because it was the same shit, different days.
But that is fair, because they will not remember you.

Posting Blues

2006-10-27T01:41:00.000-07:00

I am putting together a list of who goes where for their posting. I think it'll be a good way for people to keep track of their friends and also because you all are just plain nosy. So below is a list f the ones i know. Please let me know where you will be going so i can list your names.
The lost will be updated until i get everyone. If u dont want ppl to know where u are going, feel free to sms me and yell at me. I'll remove ur name.

1) The Kuching Gang
Bong, Wei Siong, Chai Soon, Andrew, Yeh Ying, Han hua, Sannie, Cindy, Sia Ung

2) The Ipoh People
Dorcus, Shirli, Khai Yung, Karen, Jack, Rama

3) Malacca
Shabnam

4) Klang Klan
Wong Hui Chin, Kheng soo, David, Jessica, Steve

5) Batu Pahat
Chay, Geong Tat

6) Tawau, Sabah
Shim, Hoi Ling, Jasmin

An Ode to a Friend

2006-10-27T01:28:00.000-07:00

Over our time in IMU, there has been something that has been an integral part of our lives. Because they always there, through good time and bad, we may sometimes take them for granted. I am talking about the ever present housemate. Most of you have them and they are the closest companion you have. So take a moment to remember them and give them a call!

P/S this is a special farwell to the other half of my 'syndrome'. To someone who is always on my side, who held me when i couldn't stand (literally!), who listened to my crazy theories at 2 a.m and done more crazy things than a barrel of monkeys. Though we may now be incomplete, may your 'curi tulang' skills remain intact. *mua*

The end of the yellow brick road

2006-10-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

Greetings fellow C1/04. It has been two months since our graduation and i could finally bring myself to write the final blog for our batch. I feel it was necessary to have the distance and time to really look back at our times in medical school. And i can safely say, i miss it. A lot.
Medical school has been one of the finest times in my life. It was a time of friendship, learning and ambition. It was a time of hope. And what made it extra special were the people. I think all of us will never again experience this unique type of closeness that we had in these five years together.
So as we moved forward and further from each other, i bid all of you good luck and farwell.
It has been an honour serving with you.

Convo Dinner

2006-08-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

Share your pictures, folks!

WTF?

2006-08-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

Err..before anybody gets the idea that the case below is a real one..(acute Potfoliolitis? could happen!)...it is actually inspired by an incident that occurred on the day of porfolio hand-in. As truth is stranger than fiction, especially in IMU, the event was rather more dramatic than as recorded here. For the true and unabridged account of how Shim called Red alert for Jack's portfolio, please consult him yourself. I can do no justice to the story.

CEMD

2006-08-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

Case Report
Mdm J, a 25-year-old Primigravida, presented with secondary arrest of labour after a first stage of 24 hours. She has a 1 week history of game-playing, over-sleeping and denial. There was no antenatal check-up and she had planned for a home delivery. Contractions has started and continued until 5 hours post-expected time of delivery. She then presented to the A&E with signs of acute shock. The portfolio was in distress as evidenced by lack of summary, no critical appraisal and incomplete corrections.
Red alert was called by Dr JY Shim and was responded by doctors from all the departments. Emergency intervention was carried out. Corrections were conducted under supervision. Artificial appraisal and summary was inserted by Dr KH Chuah. Log book was resuscitated by an emergency stand-in team.
The portfolio was delivered at 6pm, 6 hours after expected time of delivery. It was healthy and shows no sign of tampering. The mother was discharged well.
The diagnosis was Severe Acute Portfoliolitis caused by chronic neglect.

Discussion
Acute Portfoliolitis is a rare condition suffered by an average of 70 men and women each year. It is an acute exacerbation of the relatively benign condition of chronic Portfoliolitis. Chronic Portfoliolitis lasts only six months and resolves after delivery. Acute Portfoliolitis occurs near delivery, probably as a response to the physiological changes of delivery. It is characterized by lack of sleep, appetite and acute panic. Although life-threatening Acute Portfoliolitis does not generally affect the delivery outcome and most portfolios were delivered on time. In this rare case of severe acute portfoliolitis, there has been a history of neglect. Studies have shown the risk factors for developing severe portfoliolits included game-playing, over-sleeping, denial, goin-home syndrome and patient-notes-missing syndrome1. Prevention and proper monitoring of patient with chronic Portfoliolitis is crucial in avoiding complications. Frequent Porfolio discussion and supervision by lecturers have been shown to reduce chronic portfoliolitis by as much as half2. The acute management of severe portfoliolitis is a multi-disciplinary approach.

Reference:
1) I.M Kiasu. Chronic Portfoliolitis: a multi-centered, prospective study. J IMU 2006,3: 42
2) Lectures Against Porfoliolitis (LAP) Group. Portfliolitis Vs Lectureritis: which is worse? J IMU 2005, 4: 57-75

Comrade in arms..

2006-07-31T16:38:00.000-07:00

I would like to extend my sincere gratitude to several of our own colleagues that has made my last days here in Batu Pahat very memorable. I have had more fun and defintely ate a lot more in the last 3 days than i had in the last 6 months.
So, ladies and gentleman..its has been an honour to have served with you.

This is us at the lake in Sri Medan. A suprisingly beautiful place.

So Long and thanks for all the fish…

2006-07-31T16:36:00.000-07:00

Life in a small town or
Trying really hard to like Batu Pahat

So, that’s it folks. My last day here in the town of Batu Pahat. My sojourn here into the heart of Johor has come to an end. Six months has flown pass with nary a blink. And the final verdict (insert drumroll…): Mixed feelings.
I can’t say for certain whether I had liked Batu Pahat. When speaking to someone of like mind, I agreed that it is high time for me to leave. Yet, there remains a brief twinge of regret. So let us take a look at the breakdown..
1) The people: Not remarkable. People are people everywhere. Malaysians anyway. Whether they be patients, hospital staff or the common folk. I have heard my colleagues claiming to really like the people here. I on the other hand feel nothing whatsoever. Not that I particularly dislike them, on the contrary, I had met some really nice people here. Its just that I don’t feel attached enough to people to attach a sentiment to a place.
2) The food: Usual stuff.
3) The place: Indifferent. Unlike Seremban that invites active dislike, Batu Pahat remains for me a mediocre place that inspires neither loathing nor raves. It’s a town, a Chinese one at that, like a million others across the peninsula.
4) Myself in it: I am no different here than at any other place. That could be the main reason for my lack of caring for this place. It has failed to stir my imagination. And ultimately, it was forgettable.

In conclusion, to quote my idol Douglas Adams, what was left to say about this place was : Mostly Harmless.

Farewell, Batu Pahat. Time to shake some dust…

Hi ho, Hi ho, a diging we will go...

2006-07-26T23:25:00.000-07:00

Ah, smell that, kiddies? It is the aroma of freedom. The last day of Medical school. We move this week from this small town which we have called home for the last 6 months. But more importantly we are closing an important chapter of our lives. I think the things i will miss most will be the people. Not the patients, but you guys. The boys and girls of C1/04 that has made my 5 years here a pleasure.
In these final days, we are still up to our usual mischief. Fear not, we shall not fail you now. Plans on how we were to properly send off our last salvo has been discussed and implemented. Below are several of the plans in action..
1) Dinner and bon-fire. We plan to do some serious notes burning. With the hungry ghost festival, we wont even be arrested for setting fires. If anyone ask, those blue sheets are a new type of ghost currency. Just hope any resident "ghost" dont wander over and wonder WTF are you trying to give him.
2) Time capsule: we are putting together some of our favourite things and burying it on IMU ground. Sorry to those who wanted to contribute but was not informed. We only just came up with this plan. The container will be buried tonight. We will collect anything you wish to commemorate your time here, blue sheets, squeaky toys, baby tags, branulas....next opening, 2026!

Anyway, thats all for now. I will write a proper farewell address before convocation. Wishing you all the best for your exit viva. And like Han Hua say, "Just agree with whatever they say, if they want to say i'm a girl, i'll say Yes, sir!"

Urban Legend

2006-07-26T23:09:00.000-07:00

Now legend has it that in the small town of Batu Pahat, many a strange things have been seen and told. But none are stranger than the True and Untarnished Tale of the Cat. The old folks has it that the Cat was once a living creature, a strange and convoluted one true enough, but human nevertheless. It was said that the Cat was cursed by the spirit of a Dat'o, for daring to take his name in vain. The Cat was cast upon the earth where he shall forever roam the grounds of the Hospital, for such was its nature when living.
Folks say the Cat still haunt the town of Batu Pahat, its apperance often a tiding of bad things to come. In fact, many an innocent mortal have succumb to its vicious bite and lying wounded upon the ground, has their very soul sucked out. No one knows why the Cat choose to take souls, perchance because it has none of its own.
So let the tale be a warning to wary travellers, to have a care when traipsing through the halls on Oncall nights. The Cat is liable to materialize then, looming behind one, bloated with stolen souls. The screams from victims past, echo from its jaws as a single word.."ma..."

High noon at batu pahat

2006-07-10T22:51:00.000-07:00

This is how the story goes....
A sleepy town, sun at high noon, dust coats the street. Two gunslingers step out in the main street. In one corner, a seasoned risk taker, a man willing to bet his last dime, Jacky boy squint at the interloper. "You wanna take me on, boy?"
His challenger was a novice, an easy going fellow, usually one to let things slide. But this was something close to heart, he cant let this go. His honour is on the line, its either do or die.
" Ya, i ain't afraid of you" he snarled. He was all words and grandstanding. He's not afraid, got nothing to lose. Righteousness shone in his eyes, he believes he got the power of the right behind him.
Spectators gathered like sharks smelling blood in the waters. They push the wager high. Whatever the outcome they win.
The wager was laid down, ridiculously high. Pride, life and money.
The combatants took their positions, guns at the ready. The moment gelled with tension.
The draw came, fast and furious. For a moment, Jacky boy tottled. The crowd gasped thinking him down. But it was his challenger that toppled. Went down for the count. One more notch for the meanest bastard in town.
All there was left was to collect. And collect he will, along with the hanger-ons and the bookies that profited.
Nothing left now but the street, the dust and a long dead dream...

Actually what happened was Chai Soon bet jack that the Euro2004 was in Greece. Jack says Portugal. After much grandstanding, the wager came up to 7 nasi lemaks! The greedy spectators (us) waited in eagerness. Result confirmed with google and Chai soon goes down. So tonight dinners' on him. Trust the men to bet on something after the world cup and on something that is already a fact. Eitherway, i'm getting free food so viva football!

TGIF

2006-07-05T23:12:00.000-07:00

Finally the community project is over. After 2 months of working our asses off. I heard people calling it the 'Committe Project' which in a way is actually true.

The post that was previously here has been deleted due to its provocative nature. The author had wrote in anger. Please be assured she only mean to tell the people who deserves it to go fuck themselves.

Looking Back

2006-06-19T23:11:00.000-07:00

The years sure has flown by real quick. It almost time to go our separate ways. I am looking through the photos for the convo mag and feeling all nostalgic.
Anyway, if any of you want photos of the sem 5 cheerleading, deeparaya or mural painting just ask. I'll fwd u a copy.

p/s check out sion's webpage for ur convo mag photo

Paging Mr Danny....

2006-06-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

Greetings..
As it happens, the aforementioned boon ser is Mr Goh Boon Ser of Johor. He's my batchmate. He wants to know who this is and how to reach you.
Please reply here. And let us know which is your blog.
Thanks

They say Ted Bundy started out that way....

2006-06-14T19:07:00.000-07:00

What do you do if you suffer from a rodent infestation? Stalk, slash or burn? Apparently our medical students have our own way of dealing with these sneaky creatures. Just ask a certain group of people living in Taman Soga. The story goes like this.....

Two housemates discovered they have non-paying guests in their house and set out to trap the tresspassers. They bought a sticky trap and set it out with bait. The next morning, lo and behold there's a rat in their trap. After the excitement faded, the question is what to do with the creature. Since they are trained in self-directed learning and knowing that rat-poison contains warfarin, they figure that bleeding is the way to go. Lacking warfarin, they used the next best thing....a vial of low molecular weight heparin! After injecting it into the rat ( at this point, some of you will ask how this is possible...let's just say one person held it down while the other locate a vein), they were disappointed to see the rat still alive and kicking. They probably just decreased the rat's life-time risk of MI and stroke by 50%.
After much discussion, they finally go the way of most lay people and used cleaning fluid. But being medical students, they injected it into the rat. To make a long and gruesome story short, there was bloating, convulsion and finally merciful death.

So kids, the moral of this story is....heparin doesnt kill rats....and dont ever be unconscious and land into the hands of these two fellas.

The haunting

2006-06-07T06:37:00.000-07:00

Rumours has it that our beloved Batu Pahat hospital is Haunted! Waaaa.....

Eye-witness has claimed a certain green chair outside the male medical ward is in fact haunted. It is often observed rocking itself and some have claimed that it can actually respond to people. X-file or hoax? Next time you are doing on call in the middle of the night do go check it out.

But honestly speaking, almost every hospital has its stories of poltegeist and hauntings. Hard not to have stories with a place where people die every day. As it is, i'm collecting stories of most famous hauntings in hospital you know. Might help us reconsider our choices for housemanship, eh?
A special thanks to Shim and his story of shadowy figures in Hospital Bahagia. Complete with actual video footage.

Kami Ke Puncak!

2006-06-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

Greetings and welcome to Batu Pahat...
I am sure all of you are enjoying our new life here in Johor. The funnies have reduced dramatically though, there seemed to be more seriousness in this 'shadow houseman' thing. what a pity...Rama, don't fail us now!

At any rate, we do have some ongoing projects namely the community project and convocation magazine. i'm on both committee and find the arguments remarkably similar (with the exception of the wakils from community project drinking a lot more Kopi).

So do contribute to both projects. This is our last chance to do things as a batch. Hell people, we had a blast so far so dont spoil it now!

Gong Xi Fa Chai!

2006-01-26T20:55:00.000-08:00

Hello hello...
Wishing everyone a very happy chinese new year. Hope the year of the dog will prove very productive for our sem 9 exam revision.
Anyway....i am suppose to post a joke that happened in our radiology revision class with Dr Subra, however as the butt of the joke was me ( a very rare occurence) i am somewhat reluctant to do so. But in all fairness, here it is...

Incident: Radiology revision, Internal med posting Group E

Dr Subra: I have heard some fantastic description from medical students. There's this one fellow who insist everything is 'patches', i later found out that his father owns a tyre shop. Ok, you (pointing to Bong) describe this CT of the abdomen.
Bong: (looking at this really weird mass) err...the pancrease has 'broken down'....
Dr Subra: 'Broken down'?...its not a car, how to broken down?
Jack: (practically bouncing up & down with glee): Its cos her dad's a mechanic!

Later on , Shu shayn got the same treatment when she described a lot of 'strokes'. Dr Subra belives its cos she's a swimmer. Ai~

Eitherway...thats all folks!
p/s i'm still waiting for the 'vaginal sourness' joke from Khai yung....

10 Things You Must Do Before Graduating IMU

2005-12-12T18:01:00.000-08:00

And i don't mean filling out the medical procedures in your log book. We are talking about the real important stuff, the fun stuff. And if you haven't done at least one of the items on the list, we suggest you buck up now in the little time we got left.

1) Tasted Dextrose 5. Is it really sweet? Only the those who have drank of the fluid and say...

2) Steal a box of gloves and made party balloons out of them. There's nothing like a legion of waving hands to greet your guest.

3) Try on a O2 mask or prong. Dude, you ain't never got high till you have hyperoxygenate your brains.

4) Try the Nitrous oxide inhalant in the OT. They didn't call it laughing gas for no reason.

5) Take a look at your own stomach using OGDS. Or at least let them paralyse your vocal cords for the day. Alternative: Do it to a snoring friend...

6) Catch and give an infection to all your housemates. Try HPV.

7) Made rude gestures using the limbs of the skeleton in the CSU.

8) Steal and put a pot of plant in the elevator. Press every button and watch everyone freak when the door dings and open up to show a plant. Preferably done at night.

9) Cross-dress. On a regular school day.

10 ) KY Jelly. Enough said.

Salamander thanks Mr Khai Yung for the above idea. This is the result of eating Yong taufu and having too much time to waste at dinner.
Idea number 8 is courtesy of the boys of M1/2k who really did it using the Bukit Jalil elevator. Long live!

Watch out kids..there's a new clown in town!

2005-12-04T22:39:00.000-08:00

Ahem...due to unforseen turns of events, it would appear that we have a new joker in our group. He even has a suitable clown's name...so presenting the magnificent Jack! Creator of such terms such as the 'impure' heartbeat and the proper response to a forgotten physcial examination being 'dammit'.

Posting: Surgery Group E, Semester 9
Place: CSU, IMU
Incident: CSU session with Dato Kanda discussing the possibility of a 12 year old having renal stones.
DK: The pobability of a child that age having a renal stone is very unlikely...unless he has been 'naughty'.
Jack: (after much contemplation) Sir! Just to clarify, by 'naughty' do you mean sexual activity?
DK: Yes, i mean he's having sex.

More insults

2005-10-03T22:35:00.000-07:00

Ah..the joy of insulting people with medical terms. Lets get right to them

Pneumocranium (adj)= 'Airhead', a non-too-bright female

Prawn (adj)= Remove the useless head. A female with a nice body but ugly face. You can thank jack for this sexist comment. But then expected from someone who invented 'serial monogamy'.

Flying without wings

2005-09-28T01:34:00.000-07:00

Posting: Anaes
Place: Bilik Rehat, OT Seremban GH
Incident: Discussion on use of anaethetics in surgery by Dr S

Dr: The Induction of the drugs pushes the patient into the plane of unconsciousness and when there an inhalant is given for maintanence. This is to make sure the level remains in the drug corridor and the patient does not wake.
Stops and sees Chai soon looking really confused.
Dr: Do you understand?
Chai soon: No Dr! So many planes and corridors!

Oh, we have also learn the following things today
1) Orchidectomized: "Ball-less" person, i.e all lawyers, debate mediators, etc (acc to Datuk 'a-merry-anus')
2) As Jack have discovered, do not say a woman is pregnant unless you actually see the baby crowning. Muahahaaaaa.....this particular story can only be heard first hand from the source due to its sensitive nature. In other words, jack would kill me and he knows where i live.

Abnormal....

2005-09-25T22:41:00.000-07:00

Posting: Gynae
Place: Maternal OT
Incident: Two students are watching a surgeon put a rubber sheath over the hysterecscopy tip before insertion into the cervix.

Tee: Dr, is that a normal condom you are using?
Dr: Err...U mean there is an abnormal condom?

You might notice i am using the new code for the students to protect their identitiy. This is so will know who they are. Muahahaaa....

The world down there...

2005-09-25T22:31:00.000-07:00

Greetings...forgive my tardiness in posting. As we move into the wonderful world of semester 9 we are all uphled to a higher code. Those of a imminent doctor to be. However, that doesn't mean we can't foul up so bad we need a mile deep hole to bury ourselves. Welcome to the Gynaecology posting....

As our names are too complicated for a certain lecturer we have been given codes. Not too unlike prison....

Danendra: Our fearless leader have been coined "Darma"..i have no idea wat that means
Roshan: Devdas...ask him to explain this one..i'm still on the run from him for other matters unsettled...
Chai soon: Chai 1
Chay: Chai 2
Wong Hui Chin: Chin 1
Tee Hui Chin: Chin 2...You might notice their house is also known as 'chin, chin, chai, chai'
Bong: Bong lah....u can't go far with my name
Jack: Also jack...
Merillyn: Gowri
Boon ser: Winston
Yen Ching: Honey...as in Winston's honey
Fu Yen:Peter Pook
Shu Shyan: Anything from sue to shu...
Komal: i can't remember this one...i'll get back to u

Where no man have gone before....

2005-04-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

Greetings everybody...
Sorry for the long interval in between jokes. life just doesn't seem as funny as when u have Rama around. Therefore, all those in his posting have the responsibility to mankind to report all his jokes and foul-ups for pure entertainment purposes.
Anyway, welcome back to all those doing selective here in Seremban hospital. Yippe, 3 more weeks before we all head off ourselves to the great beyond (read: some 'Ulu' hospital). So, sit back people and enjoy Sem 8 while you can. Thats all Folks!

p/s Music night is starts in a few more minutes, to all those preforming Good Luck and Break a leg!

pp/s If you are interested in looking up Rama's nose please visit Jin Khang's blog page. I don't know why anyone would want to look up into any of Rama's orifices. But just like Mount Everest, the reason is probably 'because its there'.

The ultimate insult!

2005-01-16T21:38:00.000-08:00

One of the advantages of a medical career ( other than the free prozac) is that we have a language all of our own. And that is totally pointless unless one uses it fully...like insulting people. Therefore we bring to you "The Ultimate Medical Insult Guide" compiled from the famous insults used daily by renowned Doctors and Datos from IMU.

Here are some examples.....

1) Cerebral-saccral migration (adj)= brain moving to butt. Meaning a recent onset of stupidity e.g " Your answer just show you have recently developed cerebral-saccral migration"

2) Coccydynia (noun)= pain in the butt. Meaning an extremely annoying person e.g " He is a real coccydynia when it comes to PBL"

3) Schumck (noun)= the part of the foreskin thrown away during a circumcision. Meaning a worthless person e.g " You Schumck! "

4) Cerebral-Buccal Fistula ( adj) = opening between brain and mouth. Meaning to not think before speaking e.g " No wonder he's in trouble with RK, he's got a cerebral-buccal fistula"

5) Contraceptive use ( adj)= to prevent pregnancy. A totally useless person e.g 'He is someone whose mother should have used contraceptives"

These are just some of our personal favourites. Do contribute any new ones.

More Rama-Rama Fairy tales

2005-01-13T01:54:00.000-08:00

Greetings all....
It has been ages since a new joke has emerged but with Rama here..there's nothing to fear. And when you put in Mr Harwant and Rama topgether, there's guarantee to be explosive incidents!

Hang on to your hats, Kiddies!

Place: Seminar Room, IMU
Posting: Orthopaedics
Incident: Seminar with Mr Harwant

Mr H: What is the function of the meniscus?
R: Lubricant!
Mr H: Ok....what else is a lubricant?
R: err....motor oil!
Mr H: Lubricant from the body
Everyone else: Pleural fluid, pericardial fluid, etc...
Mr H: What else?
R: Semen!
Everyone: Hahhaaaaaa...
Mr H: If you do things right, the lubrication should not have to come from your part!

Joke no 2
Mr H: Rama...do you want me to be tough with you or be lenient?
R: 50-50 lah, sir!
Mr H: Oh, so you like it front AND back!

These stories came in second hand but still bloody funny! Thank u Rama!

Fun stuff for all the family....

2004-10-13T22:02:00.000-07:00

Make your own super hero...create your avatar for your RPG websites, dark throne and blogging sites

http://www.ugo.com/channels/comics/heromachine/classic.asp

Whats in a name?....

2004-10-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

Some jokes have been made by our lecturers concerning the names given by our well-meaning parents......

here are some examples......

Steve aka: in orthopaedics we know we won't be 'stiff' with 'steve'
Ros aka: 'The virgin Rose" according to Dr Zain
Sie Yean aka: "shorty" acc to Mr paul
Swen aka: 'swan" acc Dr Zain

All ye unfaithful

2004-09-22T22:09:00.000-07:00

Greetings all...
You might have noticed that i have removed the non-IMU jokes from this site. This is due to complains from the puritans who feel that this site should only contain original material. We will therefore only publish IMU jokes in the future ( and only because they would burn me at the stake otherwise).
If you should wish to read the other jokes e.g Lotr spoof, just ask me and i'll direct you to them.

p/s Jo an's blog site is called salamanderbuddy.blogspot.com

Bony jokes

2004-09-09T01:10:00.000-07:00

Greetings greetingss...
These are jokes from orthopedics.....it happened during a session with Dr Yeap. They aren't very re-producible but here they are anyway...
1) ...there was a mention of a 'hallucis longus' muscle in the hand.
2) ....Dr Yeap claimed that there is not a bus big enough to send us all back to phases 1.
Not very funny, i know but i ain't got nothing better. Where are the jokes, people?!!

p/s As the obs & Gyn people would know, 20+ years ago some sperm got lucky! So we hereby wish Jack & Wei Siong a very Happy birthday! Cheers guys!

Sleepless in IMU

2004-09-01T23:12:00.000-07:00

Have you all noticed that there are no places to take a nap in IMU? With everyone so sleepy all the time, you would think they come up with some place for us to doze. Everybody just sorts of perch in the library either with their heads in their arms or head thrown back with their mouth wide open.
Anyway...don't forget to tell me all the jokes that happen in your postings...especially those of you together with Rama in Obs & Gyn.
Salamander dozing of...zzzzz.....
p/s see you all at the BBQ night later!

New site

2004-08-22T18:02:00.000-07:00

For anyone who is interested, this is a new community websites i just joined...kinda like friendster but a lot better. It lets you post journals, pictures and other stuff. So, go take a look at my page and then join if you like. I wont send those invites cos its no good to let these sites get hold of your email addresses.

http://salamander.multiply.com

Welcome back!

2004-08-22T17:31:00.000-07:00

Welcome back one and all to our final week of semester 6!
Good luck to you all for your long case and MCQ....as yet there is no news when our long case will be.
Also...let us welcome the new sem 6 who start their orientation today. Doesn't it feel weird to be seniors, it only seemed like yesterday that we start clinical school.

Bon Voyage

2004-08-12T18:25:00.000-07:00

Greetings all...
Note that our gift for Dr Loh have been wrapped and safely delivered!
Wishing you all a very happy study leave. Have a safe journey home!
Salamander Over & Out!

FTSVD

2004-08-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

Date: Week 5, Paediatrics
Place: Seremban GH
Incident: Case Presentation with Dr Francis Y.

Student:....the child was born with full term sponataneous vagina discharge....

2 fingers wide

2004-08-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

Date: Week 3, Paediatrics Posting
Place: Seremban GH
Incident: Case presentation with Dr Liu

Dr Liu: How do you judge whether a B.P cuff is suitable for a child?
All students: 2/3 rd the length, appropriate size, etc
Dr Liu: Yes, but how do you tell if it is the right width?
Rama: We should be able to stick 2 fingers beneath the cuff!
Dr Liu: Nonsense...that's how your mother teach you to buy shoes!
Rama: .....

Toilet Training

2004-08-09T17:26:00.000-07:00

This incident occurred in the most unlikely of all places....during RK's class. One might think it impossible to find humour but as always where there is Rama there is no impossible.....

Date: Week 4, Paediatrics posting
Place: Seminar room, IMU
Incident: PBL

RK: What are the prevention methods for typhoid? ( She means isolation, vaccines, etc.)
Rama: Cleaning the toliets
RK: ......

Remember the card!

2004-08-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

Greetingss all...
Finally tomorrow is our last class with RK. At least i learn never to say 'Kawasaki' ever again in her presence.
Just a reminder for all of you reading this at home during the weekend. Remember to work on your Dr loh birthday wish. Hopefully i can get it done by next week and you can all see the finished product. If you have not taken your art paper get it from me.
Wishing all those off to conferences a very happy time and don't do anything i won't do! ;)
Happy Weekend!

Battlefield

2004-08-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture description of what the group looked like after presentation with RK last Friday. ( As decribed by survivor Jack)

A Rama-rama fairy tale Part 2

2004-07-28T21:47:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, during a session of TBL with RK, Rama was labeled as 'blind' & 'deaf' after a comment about the patient being Rhesus negative after the trigger says 'O +'

At lunch, the same day, He defends his action.
Rama: I thought ' O+' means the + shows there is presence of Type O in the patient.
S: So does that mean in 'O-' the patient is not type O?
B: Maybe it means the patient have no blood type. Haha....

Disclaimer: Everthing you read here is the truth and nothing but the truth. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. Except for Rama that is, but you all know he's not innocent.

A Rama-rama fairy tale

2004-07-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, on a fine thursday morning, our illustrous group leader KY recieved an SMS.
Rama, " What time is our ward round?"
KY," 8 to 8:30 am"
Rama," What! Where?"
KY," In the hospital"
Rama," I'm on my way"

KY is most puzzled....ward round has always been at 8 am. We also have a grand round with RK at 10:30 am....but that wasn't the question

Meanwhile, in the IMU cafeteria...two students were eating breakfast. Rama come running up unwashed and without his tie.
Rama," eh..this morning i forgot the 'grand round' is called a 'grand round'.so i asked KY when the ward round is. I came here without showering"
Bong & WS: Hahahaaaaaaahahaaaaaaahahaaaaaaa...............

So, Rama went home to shower and everyone lived happily ever after.
The End

Disclaimer: This work is an adaption of actual events. All reference to life persons are intentional.

My new hero..Puss!

2004-07-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

Dry spell

2004-07-13T05:54:00.000-07:00

We are fresh out of jokes, people....Rama, say something funny, quick!

Anyway...here something entertaining in the meantime.

p/s i am suppose to be on call but am sitting in the library doing crap stuff...feel free to add other entertaining websites to this page ;)

http://www.myjokemail.com/videos/Spiderman.shtml

Who?Me?

2004-06-27T22:26:00.000-07:00

Date: Internal Med Posting, Week 4
Place: Ward 6A, Seremban GH
Incident: Conversation heard among 3 students at the basin....
H: Hey W, you are presenting TBL tomorrow.
W: Who say?
H: Your partner said so.
W: Did she say W or did she say me?
B: you are not W meh?....

Water Intoxication

2004-06-22T23:55:00.000-07:00

Date: Internal Med, Week 3
Place: Seremban GH
Incident: Dr Loh is explaining why the patient has pedal edema.

Dr Loh: The patient's feet is swollen because of fluid overload.
R: what?
Dr Loh: Overload
R: Oh...overdrank!
Dr Loh:......

Hogswart?

2004-06-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings...
Check out this little coven of witches!

.

http://albums.photo.epson.com/j/ViewPhoto?u=4221653&a=31297501&p=68585421

Quiz

2004-06-18T01:27:00.000-07:00

Hey look, i found an old quiz i made in Phase 1. Can go and try it if you like...

http://quizilla.com/users/m201/quizzes/What%20kind%20of%20IMU%20student%20are%20you%3F

Vote for your favourite joke!

2004-06-18T01:05:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, vote for your favourite joke. Just pick one from the box below and click 'vote'. And yes, you may vote for your own joke. Click 'view' to see the result. I realize you have to be a member of this site to comment so if you are not keen on joining just tell me verbally anything you want to add on the site. I wolud really like more ideas for polls, quiz or more stupid Rama jokes.

Whats in a name...

2004-06-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

greetings greetingss...
A lot of you been asking whats with the salamander thing. A salamander is an amphibian that lives mostly in fresh water. Its also the mythical symbol of fire. The name actually comes from a recurrent dream of mine. In it, there was this pink and white salamander. Whats even more weird was that it had only one arm and one leg. It always look at me with intelligent eyes as though it wants to say something but can't. Anyway, that's the story...i'm not sure what its suppose to symbolise. What do u all think? am i a closet nutcase?

Itchy & Scratchy

2004-06-15T23:09:00.000-07:00

Date: Internal Medicine posting, week 3
Place: Seminar room, IMU
Incident: on pruritus vulvae
Dr E: Pruritus vulvae is also called a very famous Japanese name....'ichi-bawa'

For all of you who don't get the joke....ask our Japanese expert, Jack.

And first prize goes to....

2004-06-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

This here joke is so special it deserves to be in our joke-book hall of fame. Why? Because of this incident the mentor-mentee system was created for internal med by our beloved Dato kanda. A round of applause to our 'king-blur-sotongs-of the-year'.

Date: Surgical posting week 1
Place: Operating theater, Seremban GH
Incident: First visit to the OT. Two of our fellow students went into the OT for the first time and after some deliberation.....
Student 1: So what do we do? should we scrub?
Student 2 hands him a brush and both commence to scrub up as taught by the csu. Dato kanda enters the OT and stood watching them for the while.
Dato Kanda: Are you operating today?
Student 1 & 2: ......

Old jokes

2004-06-15T19:20:00.000-07:00

Ok..here are the old jokes transfered from wotmania. I have numbered them so its easier to read.

Joke 1
Date: Family medicine posting
Place: KKS teaching room
Incident: R, a student was examining the knee of a patient who was wearing jeans. The lecturer asked the patient to lie down behind the screen.
lecturer: R, what should we do to examine this patient?
R: we should expose his leg fully.
Lecturer: Good, and how do we do that?
R: take off his pants?
lecturer: yes...go on.
R: you want me to take off his pants? I don't know how lah. They never taught us how to in Bukit Jalil.

Joke 2
Date: Surgical Posting week 2
Place: Endoscope room
Situation: Initiation of insertion of colonoscope.
Mr Paul: R, do you know how to look for the hole?
R: No sir, i don't know lah.
Mr Paul: Then you can never be a real man.

Joke 3
Date: Surgical Posting week 3
Place: Ward 3B Seremban GH
Incident: Bed-side teaching with Mr Shaker. Comment on colour of the patient's face.
Mr Shaker: What is the colour between red and pink?
R: Blue
Mr Shaker: I'll kill you....

Joke 4
Date: Surgical posting week 3
Place: TBL room IMU
Incident: Mr Ramesh was describing a kind of needle used in aspiration called 'Large-needle aspiration'.
R: I don't understand, Doctor, how is it different?
Mr Ramesh: Its bigger...
R: Oh, i see....the syringe is bigger
Mr Ramesh: .....

Joke 5
Date: Surgical Posting, Week 4
Place: Seminar room, IMU
Incident: TBL, R is talking about post-trauma care
R:....and one of the most important things we need to do is to teach the patient how to start breathing.....

Joke 6
Date: Surgical Posting Week 5
Place: Ward 3b, Seremban GH
Incident: BST with Mr Sudirman. S, was inspecting the abdomen of a male patient. While commenting on the fact that the umbilicus was inverted....
S:....the abdomen is not distended...and the nipple is inverted....
Mr Sudir: What? nipple?
S:...the nipple is inverted...
Mr Sudir: (looks blank)
S:...nipple? inverted?...
Everyone: (giggles)
S:...Oh,Opps, i mean umbilicus....last night i was studying breasts......

Joke 7
Place: Ward 3a, Seremban GH
Date: Surgical Posting, Week 5
Incident: BST with Dato Kanda ( Yes, contrary to what everyone think...it is possible to have funny incidents during his class)
Dato: In what condition will we have UTI?
Student: Poor Hygiene
Dato: What do you mean by poor hygiene? What is good Hygiene?
Student: Washing that area everyday
Dato: Does that mean all those people who does not wash everyday will get UTI?....what about those people in the jungles?... and those people who climb everest...they cannot wash everyday.....they all have UTI?

Rama is sitting next to me now and saying reocrding everthing he say is not good for his 'biological development'. I say its good for ours...muahahaaaaa....

Joke 8
Place: TBL room, IMU
Date: Surgical Posting, week 5
Incident: R is presenting a case
R: The patient claim to have haemorrhoids five months ago...
Student: 'claims'? How you know its true?
R: Of course claim lah....You think i saw his backside 5 months ago?

Joke 9
Time : 1 pm
Place : SOPD
Dr Ruslan, an MO in SOPD was working routinely while being watched by 2 'observant' students full of enthusiasm. At the end of the session...
Dr : So any questions?
H : Dr, what does BO stand for?
Dr : BO is bowel opening, so what's PU then?
R : Penile opening!(so confidently answered after hearing the word PO instead of PU)
Dr : Passing urine la...(laughing)...that's quite a good one huh...(still laughing)

Joke 10
Date: Internal Med Posting, Week 1
Place: Seremban GH
Incident: Comment by an internal med doctor
Doctor: A surgeon and his residents were on their way out of a building. The elevator started to close so the surgeon stuck his head out and stopped the door from closing. His residents said " But Sir, why didn't you use your hands?" The surgeon replied, "I need them for my work"

Joke 11
Date: Internal Medicine posting, week 1
Place: Seminar room, IMU
Incident: The air-conditioning in the seminar room have proved too much for some of our collegues. Overhead during a TBL...
Student 1: Is the aircon reducible?
Student 2: No....there is also no cough impulse.
Student 1: ????

Joke 12
Date: Surgical Posting, week 5
Place: seminar room, IMU
Incident: Prof ramesh and the breast examnination
Prof: How far do we expose the patient?
Student: From the neck to the abdomen
Prof: ..so we cover the patient's head?

Genesis

2004-06-14T17:43:00.000-07:00

Greetings all...
Finally, i found a site that lets me post without letting any Tom, Dick and Harry view it. So, from this day forth...all jokes will go on this site. I haven't figured out whether it allows you all to post comments. I'll be transfering all our jokes from the wotmania site shortly.

Vote for the best joke on this site!
	Joke 1 " Exposed"
	Joke 2 " The hole"
	Joke 4 " large needle"
	Joke 5 "Breathe"
	Joke 6 " Inverted nipple"
	Joke 7 " Climbing Everest"
	Joke 8 " Claim"
	Joke 9 "PU"
	Joke 10 " Surgeon's head"
	Joke 12 " Head cover"

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